Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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