Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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