im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize