he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
