There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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