We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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