you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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