My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
