The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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