I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
