Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
