I seem to have left my pride at pride
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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