I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
