Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.

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  (626): I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong. http://tfl.nu/s8qo
  Replies (46) Good night (520) Bad night (1408)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I faked an abortion last night.

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  (914): I faked an abortion last night. http://tfl.nu/q8tt
  Replies (20) Good night (692) Bad night (2714)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.

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  (517): sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him. http://tfl.nu/vixo
  Replies (13) Good night (3518) Bad night (639)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.

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  (810): just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe. http://tfl.nu/ayww
  Replies (11) Good night (5187) Bad night (506)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'

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  (972): You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.' http://tfl.nu/1grt
  Replies (22) Good night (2215) Bad night (4431)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

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  (404): I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/vakp
  Replies (12) Good night (4590) Bad night (1359)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?

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  (512): will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you? http://tfl.nu/0iy8
  Replies (18) Good night (5708) Bad night (746)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets

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  (785): In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets http://tfl.nu/2py4
  Replies (7) Good night (1189) Bad night (2088)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.

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  (850): i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today. http://tfl.nu/xq7h
  Replies (4) Good night (720) Bad night (1542)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked

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  (612): Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked http://tfl.nu/3gae
  Replies (12) Good night (3091) Bad night (817)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).

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  (719): She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree). http://tfl.nu/fkun
  Replies (7) Good night (921) Bad night (411)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"

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  (417): All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?" http://tfl.nu/7ine
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (277)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.

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  (330): Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/oodj
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (175)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years

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  (256): She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years http://tfl.nu/rsfn
  Replies (4) Good night (310) Bad night (393)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.

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  (248): By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it. http://tfl.nu/tqx4
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (213)

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