70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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