So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".