Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

I feel like half our conversations start this way.

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(305): View more from Florida

gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill

(970): View more from Colorado

did you ask her what wine to pair it with?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(575): View more from New Mexico

Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you

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(424): View more from California

This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it

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(317): View more from Indiana

holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.

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(949): View more from California

They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.

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