Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
