used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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