I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
