just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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