Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
