I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
