yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
