PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
