Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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