you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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