the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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