Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
