And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
