When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
