Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
