Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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