she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
