i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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