i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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