I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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