Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
barbara walters just said penis...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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