What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
