I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
