she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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