she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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