dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have feelings that need drinking.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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