if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
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If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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