just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize