butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
nut hugger
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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