He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
