i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.