You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?