I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis