your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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