well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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