So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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