if i can run in heels then i can drive
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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