We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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