I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
