I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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