And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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