She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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