Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
