soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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