You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
