Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
