toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
