Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
