where does the pee come out of this thing
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
