i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
