I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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